Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Kaylee's Journey- my labor and delivery story

October 26 I was scheduled to be induced due to issues I was having that I won't go into details with because it is personal. 
It was a cold fall morning and as we drove to the hospital I was excited and nervous. The past 9 months were hard and was beyond different than my other three children.
The doctor checked me and I still hadn't dilated so she explained my cons to the induction yet we went with it to end my suffering due to fibromyalgia and herniated disk.
18 hours of an up and down roller coaster. It was a very devastating ride that I wish never to go on again or wish it upon anyone else. I had dilated to 6 cm when suddenly her heart began dropping. They took off the pitocin had me change positions and stopped the epidural. Then they had me on oxygen without removing it because my oxygen level got dangerously low and I felt like an elephant sat on my chest. 
Around 1 am they said let's get ready to push. Something in me felt wrong. I told the nurse something's wrong. The doctor persisted I push because it was time but yet I was severely exhausted and couldn't really catch my breath. 
I pushed and pushed and baby wouldn't crown or come down. 
I began to cry as I heard her heart stop several times and they told me last try to push if you don't do it we have to do a c section because baby is in danger. I said she's not going to come I'm pushing something's wrong. 
I looked at Steven with tears and just wept and told him let them save her. 
They wheeled me off running because baby heart dropped and stopped and would go then stop. 
As they prepped me for the c section I felt a cloud over me, a misty cloud. 
I suddenly lost every lil bit of strength I had. I said where's Steven? The nurse rubbed my head and said he's in his way. 
Little did I know while he got prepped to come into the operating room my daughter was struggling to live and he was struggling to stay strong and hoping he didn't lose his girls.
As they proceeded to open me up I felt super cold, nothing the nurse did even with a warmer kept me warm. 
Kaylee didn't cry when they pulled her out. 
The cord was wrapped tightly around her neck.
My doctor said that explains everything. 
Steven stared into my eyes and said she's out. I was like what she means that explains it, what is she talking about why isn't she crying? 
They put her on the table and everything got so foggy I just couldn't focus. 
I couldn't bare to turn my head and hear that she wasn't crying so I just stared off into the fog and wanted to slip into. I whispered please god let her cry.
I closed my eyes and I cried and suddenly my baby girl cried, and I heard her and every hopeless feeling that was about to engulf me just vanished, 
I turned my head and saw her long arms and legs moving about, and he looked at me from where she was and he said she's beautiful you did it babe.
Weighing in at 7 lbs my baby was here. Her brush with death left and so did the foggy cloud. 
Little did I know I had lost 1/3 of my blood. 
They continued to examine her and didn't bring her to me. They notified him that she needed to go to the nicu.
I felt my heart suddenly get heavy and that fog come rolling in again. They brought her over to me I gave her a kiss and off she went to continue her battle while I fought my own.
He stood by me and comforted me. I felt strange on so many different levels of emotions I couldn't even grasp hold of an emotion.
As they took me into recovery I just wanted to see my baby. I had to wait two hours to visit her in the nicu for only a few minutes. I wouldn't see her again for another 12 hours. 
Those 12 hours were the longest because that's when they notified us about the cord and how she swallowed some of her own feces that had affected her breathing.
The following three days she struggled to transition from womb breathing to real air breathing. Seeing my baby that sick the first day felt like my world tumbled but I couldn't lose faith nor hope. I started the has tag on my Instagram #prayersforkayreyes. Seeing only lil results from fellow followers and friends was also an emotional toll. 
No one knew why I asked for this because it was all too soon to say.
I didn't want to announce anything then have to announce bad news to anyone so I didn't post her photos into after her first day of grave danger and we knew she was off oxygen and was going to survive. 
I never lost hope in kaylee. I stood by her side and regardless of having had surgery 12 hours from having I managed to be with her regardless of my pain, regardless of my exhaustion. I refused to not let her see or feel my love. 
The second day was hard, they had out her on a feeding tube threw her nose. I felt like why must she go threw more? I was angry because that delayed her release out of the nicu with all her results coming back well, seeing her with more wires was not what I needed to see.
Seeing her smile and hearing her cry was more than enough to fuel the energy I needed despite losing so much blood that they wanted to give me a blood transfusion yet I refused because I knew it would just take more time away from her. 
The third day I guess she got tired of being weak that she took it upon herself to pull the feeding tube off. They gave her a bottle and she proved em wrong by devouring it. And now I know that she's just as much a fighter as me! 
My breathing will never be the same I lost ten percent of it, my blood will recuperate with a good diet and gods help. Yet my happiness has tripled in size because god let my baby girl live and let me live as well to be the perfect mother and best mother for her. 
This was our journey. Our story.... Kaylee and mommy, fighters together till the end. 

Before  everything took a toll for the worse


How she looked after being born and her brush with death.

12 hours later!

Second day another turn 

Third day fully recovered. With much prayers and mommy never leaving her side. 

Thank you all for reading our story and for taking the time to get to know US. 








2 comments:

  1. I feel for you mamma I was in a similar situation with my lil. Girl. Our girls are fighters I was induced also and now totally against it. You and your family are in my prayers. <3

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  2. God allows things to happen for a reason in which sometimes we may never understand but God showed her his mercy because she has a purpose and will continue to be a blessing in your family. Your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Xoxo

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